And since then, I have recieved almost nothing but hatred from individual and groups of individuals in this community.
WTF is this? We all know that theres trouble with the scene, and prem div is dwindling. Hell, the whole scene have been in decay. Instead people start the drama machine, and starts putting their fangs in anything within reach. Apart from the team and friends, only Good Guy Zefram has shown support.
It gets really hard to care for a community when it doesn't care for you.
So, what the hell is going on? Anyone care to explain?
"It is wisdom to recognize necessity, when all other courses have been weighed, despite as folly it may appear to those who cling to false hope" - J.R.R. Tolkien
I doubt people hate prem div or prem div players so maybe it's your own behaviour that's causing this reaction ;).
I mean the way you formulate this post alone just makes you look like you are self-conceited and arrogant, no offense.
Good luck though!
Let me try to give you at least somewhat of an answer.
Please note however, that this does not necessarily represents my own opinion, but what I heard from other people.
The general consensus seem to be, that you were/are a nice dude, but got somewhat
entitled and arrogant since you joined 2ez.
Notably, some people do not agree with your own perception of your skill level and find
your resulting behavior off putting or mock you for it.
My advice: dial a bit back on the "I'm prem div, therefore I know" kind of talk.
Feel to free to write me on steam, if you want to know more.
I do agree with you, that currently the amount of mocking, hackusation and all-around-being-a-dick is quite high.
Thank you for the answer, simple. Light on a shaded matter.
I was oblivious to the arrogance of my comments. I'm a competitive person and was proud of the status of premier division. I took a lot of flak and blame as I was learning to become better, but it was worth it to claim my prem div title. Little did I know how obnoxious it sounded.
I didn't just brag for the sake of bragging. I did try and have good intentions. I look up to premier division players because of their knowledge and skill in the game. I also have seen, first hand, people take advice from very skilled players to learn and improve. I also wanted to share my knowledge and experience which I worked hard to gain and so I prefixed my suggestions by stating my division. I still want to help but I understand now how to not do so whilst patronising people.
I hope people can forgive me. This was simply a case of being oblivious rather than malicious.
"It is wisdom to recognize necessity, when all other courses have been weighed, despite as folly it may appear to those who cling to false hope" - J.R.R. Tolkien
Ixian, mate. I haven't had any contact with you since you left onFire, apart from one gather, so i can't relate to any sort of direct bragging coming from you. What i on the other hand have heard a *lot* about, from a *lot* of people, over and over again over the months since you left is an overly perfectionistic Ixian who've lost every drop of tolerance towards pretty much anyone lower than prem div. A mad dog who makes a huge deal over the slightest mistake a player makes that didn't go as intended in the mind of Ixian and who leaves no room for constructive criticism of any kind.
This is something i have only once experienced from you, so i don't have much to relate to there either. But as you're asking for help about this i think you deserve to understand.
Never mind the bragging. You need to learn the difference between constructive criticism and a stab in the heart. Words can be as destructive as they can be helpful. As a prem div commander, you of all people are needed to *help* people get better, maybe especially aspiring commanders. Not to verbally kill them. Directly assaulting struggling players, regardless of division, who are trying to become better and have some fun meanwhile is nothing but Grade A awfulness and the very last thing this community needs. You may be a good commander. But abrasively cussing and swearing a persons soul into the ground for performing a single task not as Ixian intended is the worst mistreatment to rookies i've ever come across in my 15 years in e-sports. It's like professional, intended, controlled bullying. It pisses me off just as much as animal-torture. And that's saying quite a bit. Rookies need understanding. NS2 is tough on them enough as it is.
I refused to believe that these rumors about you were true the first few times i heard about it. But it just kept coming from so many directions eventually. People have been talking behind your back like you would not believe. Maybe it's not what you needed, but maybe it's what you deserved? I don't really care how "good" a person who does something like this is to people on his own level. Once a person starts picking on the little guys, because they've lost all sense of boundaries after mounting that high horse, they've totally lost all forms of credibility and don't deserve any goodness back whatsoever. Maybe you don't notice it yourself. But a *lot* of other people do. I'm glad that you're finally asking the question why people have been acting differently towards you and i hope that you take whatever answers you get here seriously. Because if all these rumors about you are true you have a lot to realize about yourself and to make up for to regain your former respect by a lot of people in this community.
I for one very much wish for the humble Ixian to come back. He was a lot better than the current build! If you've been him once you can be him again.
Don't personally know the guy but the little I've seen has been pretty much just that, low tolerance towards people who are not -good- as him. Then again this is nothing new, seen a lot of people turning into real asshats when they get recruited by higher division teams. Just because you play in prem division doesn't mean you're ALWAYS right about everything, especially when it comes to commanding. Different commanders, different strategies, different playstyles. Your way is not the only way, otherwise there would be only one commander in the whole prem division, right?
I am stunned. It took a good while, before I could find the words for a reply.
These things happened, whether I intended it or not. I can only say I am truly sorry, and I owe many players a personal apology. It has never been my intention of bringing someone down. I have before been accused of sucking the fun out of a game, but I had no idea it was to this degree.
I have been too harsh, and demanded too much - my only reasoning behind this was to see players grow and prosper.
I have never verbally assaulted anyone - It has never been anything near what I could do, and it will never be. If anyone has felt this way, know that I have only less than a handfull of people that I truly cannot stand. There is no dislike nor hatred for anyone apart from those select few who have wronged me in personal ways.
I have many times been in sessions with TAW and now also recently RAWR, and I have never had the feedback that I was cruel, as you describe. Now I have that, and I take that to heart. I have been blind, and that is a cruel flaw of my very nature being autistic. (close swalk, Aspergers, not PDD) I focus on details, and often fail to see the larger picture. I focus on what I say, and not how i say it. And that is a constant battle since i learned to speak. Many social norms I cannot "use", as they simply do not exist.
I can only hope that you are exaggerating in your descriptions - for you are describing a cruel, malicious thing.
"It is wisdom to recognize necessity, when all other courses have been weighed, despite as folly it may appear to those who cling to false hope" - J.R.R. Tolkien
Having Aspergers doesn't make you act like a twat towards others, I have 2 friends with Aspergers and they're perfectly nice guys - don't make excuses like that for behaving in an unsavoury manner. Why hasnt this post been locked already, seriously it adds nothing to the NSL other than to give an attention seeker more undue attention.
“It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to.”
Ixian back then in TAW it was different (and I guess it's similar in RAWR). Back then you asked us if we want help and we agreed to it. And as you know I have stayed n contact with you since then. But one thing you need to learn is that it can heavily backfire when you are trying to help when people don't want any help. I think normally people like to get better at the game but there is a better way of then just saying "do that instead" when someone did a mistake on pub games.
First you can ask if people want help. And there are also better ways to teach than telling them what to do, because if you do that there is the possibility that they don't believe you and never do it right. Try to lead them on a path where they figure out for themself. When you find something out by yourself you will have it in your belief system and you can be sure they got better. This will also make themself feel more confident.
Also you will give those players room to find there own style and you don't force them to use your style. Anyway this is rly hard to achieve on pub games. Being on a private server with them and do it calmly is the best way in my oppinion.
That one is very true. I recognized, that the best mentors say stuff like: "How about you try that.It might work better, since...". It's quite a detail, but I think it always gives people the feeling, that they found out themselves to some extend, since it was them, who tried it.
You're right it doesn't, but in the context of perfectionism and competition, it becomes difficult for people on the autism spectrum to empathise with how other people want to go about achieving things in a game whether that be "just fun" or perfectionism.
A legitimate twat on the other hand would understand the backlash and not go seeking reconciliation
I don’t really know Ixian but I have seen too many witch hunts on these forums... It’s clear that Ixian hasn’t intented to do harm and I think that is the key. At least in my moral sense intention is more imporant than actual result. Many philosophical theories also agree with that statment. When you judge someone to be something you have to be really careful. Judging someone to be dickhead is really harmfull in itself.
Aspergers syndrome is not, and will never be an excuse - but it is an inability, a handicap. The second it becomes an excuse, it becomes a limitation, and that is when I will lose, no matter what I do. Having known more than of people with aspergers, they are as different as Neuro-typical/people without diagnosis are.
Despite dozens of hours studying acting, bodylanguage, tone of voice, the ease that almost any other maneuvers these parameters eludes me.
And indeed, mephellis - you are correct about giving help to those who wants it, which is also one of the very basics of teaching I have paid too little heed to this. I will remember it.
And I apologise schu - my view of divisions and many other things was distorted at the time , and I simply didn't know better, which i might be beginning to just now. I was wrong, and you have every right to be mad about it. I would only hope for a future chance for reconciliation.
"It is wisdom to recognize necessity, when all other courses have been weighed, despite as folly it may appear to those who cling to false hope" - J.R.R. Tolkien
Internet is internet, and atm how NS2 and ENSL is right now, everybody is frustrated somehow, less and less teams to play against, the seeding list at the current state is making people to get more pissed off, and alot of people is less satisfied with the current state of admins leading the ENSL toward brighter future
It's just that everything started with the tip of the iceberg.. and now it's the whole freaking antarctica.
So generally everybody is pissed off at each other, and there is always somebody who gets the blame or getting pointed at.
But Ixian, from my personal view you are a nice fellow towards those who know you, or played with you. But looking from your streams in the past you were quite harsh against the lower div teams, or people who made mistakes. But that was early in your streams, right now you're not doing that anymore! (So cheers for that)
But some wounds never heal, as you can see from few people :)
EDIT: You should feel proud, think this is the first NON-troll post for a long time xD
Fucking LOL. Did you really just happen to write this the day after I trolled you in NS2?
You react like a little bitch when someone trolls you and you wonder why people are against you? It's because you're so hilarious to poke fun at. A joke to you is 100% serious.
You decided to go from being a scrub pubber to 'premdiv', except you then decided to tell everyone how to play the game as if you were the world #1 fps player. Except you aren'. As a field player back then, you were a comm for premdiv, not a premdiv aimer, or even positional player, you acted as if you were.
No one likes being told what to do, giving tips is one thing. However you go around shitting on players because they couldn't do something perfectlty is just a dick move.
You seem oblivious to the fact that's what you did. You felt entitled (or something) to throw your "PREMDIV SKILLZ" at everyone in a lower division or even pubbers, with no concern for being constructive. You're pretty much the only one I know that acts this fucking obnoxious.
But you'll probably over-react and be defensive about this because you can't take half this criticism yourself...
Grow up and handle some trolling, you cry every time anyone makes a joke. If you wouldn't react like a little kid people wouldn't keep having a laugh at your expense.
TL:DR be a dick to everyone and wonder why everyone is a dick back then cry about it.
If I water this down and be nice you probably will fail to see the point.
To be frank, my only experience playing with you was met with your giant ego, and assumptions that I wasn't listening to your calls when I had something more important going on in the field.
You were slow to med, weren't able to make your own calls and tried to make it seem like I didn't know how to play, yet I had played in premiere longer than you and before you.
You weren't a prem div comm plain and simple, but you sure had the ego to go with it. I also find it endlessly amusing that you called out players like schu and I about being div 1 players when our skill is clearly premiere and we had more game knowledge than you. Just saying brah. You remind me of fresh Cal-I from cs 1.6 kids who think a title makes them good.
Looking back at how you reacted to my comment on that other thread some days ago I think i have to jump in as well. I'll just try to get something together out of all the existing quotes here:
"Ixian, mate [...] I'm glad that you're finally asking the question why people have been acting differently towards you " -quote Robby
While I personally never had much to do with you myself, I actually liked you, because of your ambition for one part and especially for always being friendly to people. You were a nice guy in my eyes.... But then you got picked up by oF, played with them and already became quite dickish. It only got so much worse when you got picked up by 2eZ. ---> "seen a lot of people turning into real asshats when they get recruited by higher division teams" -quote Amad
After all I didn't care about you becoming an asshat, because there are quite a few people like that on the nsl. I have nothing against asshats. They're still fun to play with or against. I have no problem at all with people yelling at me telling me what I did wrong.
For me, the problem always was how you justified your behaviour. You always only pointed out mistakes because you thought you were given the right to do so. You didn't have the balls to do so earlier. You literally think you accomplished everything yourself. You think you're a genious comm, because you got picked up by strong teams. You never gave a shit about comm shortage in higher divs. And I bet you still think so even now. What made me mad wasn't THAT you pointed out mistakes, it was rather the mistakes you pointed out, cause they make no sense. Comms are shit because they cyst wrongly, fieldplayers are shit because they don't do what YOU would have done. You need to accept THAT YOU ARE NO PREM PLAYER, it's the one thing making you an unlikeable person. But as I mentioned earlier, It's great of you to finally ask yourself this very question...
You excused for your behaviour, I personally forgive you, I don't care whether or not I am one of the people you can't stand.
Try to take the constructive criticism offered by all these people to the heart and be happy as an - again - accepted member of the community.
